You wake up if you have the luxury of sleeping at all, try your best to get your day going but there is something holding you down, Fatigue. That thing that’s weighing on you like a ton of bricks, that thing that’s sucking your energy from you from your head to your toes. You can’t move no matter how hard you try, no matter how hard you will your body to get up and go. The bed at this time is your ally. You lay in it when you can’t move or when you reach for it for support when you stumble back as you try to stand up but find that you just can’t. Our fatigue is not just being tired, it is being exhausted. It is a feeling you can’t explain to others to make them understand. Fatigue, yes we’re all so familiar with it.
You try your best to move through the exhaustion but it’s much harder than you ever imagined. You wonder when did this all began. Finally you realize this disease Rheumatoid Arthritis snuck it in on you before you knew what happened. You see, standing at the sink brushing your teeth became a chore and that should be a simple thing to do. You stare at yourself in disbelief wondering is this really real and that body in the mirror staring back lets you know, yes you are that person so worn out and exhausted. Sleep isn’t the answer, resting isn’t the answer nor is relaxing the answer. Our body is fighting us and we just have to wait for it to fix itself even if it takes a long time or if ever. Fatigue runs rampant with this disease that we are fighting and living with.
We’re fighting fatigue and that battle is a hard one. It doubles the torture we face daily with Rheumatoid Arthritis. Through the pain we have to deal with comes the fatigue that is brought on by our meds and our bodies trying to protect us. We are grounded by these 2 more than anyone will ever really know. No one can imagine trying to carry on a day struggling against pain while not having the strength to do so. It does no good to wish for a work day or day to end and our night to begin because sleep is not the cure for our enemy Fatigue. The thing that wrings our bodies dry.
How does it feel to be too exhausted to think, I’m sure no one can imagine that. You really won’t know the answer to that unless you felt it, unless your walk has been in one of our shoes. You can barely move and you certainly can’t get your mind to focus to make yourself move so there it is, your whole body controlled by fatigue. It is awful to feel that you are useless because of a body that just can’t do what you want. All of this makes you feel guilty towards yourself and those in your life. Does this sound extreme!! Maybe to some but this is no exaggeration. Getting up and to have to lay back down in exhaustion is a cry that we cry many days. It is something that is a struggle at the simplest level and there’s no cure for us. We are saying yes but our bodies are saying I just cannot. So the fight to go is an ongoing fight, one that fatigue so often wins.
Fatigue: Extreme tiredness from mental or physical illness. “He/She was nearly dead with Fatigue”. Sounds familiar!!