Are there days and nights you find yourself sitting or laying alone wishing and needing to talk about your illness but who’s there to listen. Where is that someone to hear your words of fear, pain and loneliness! Who’s there to give you comfort in some of your most vulnerable moments. Moments when all you need is love and understanding and someone to say to you “I hear you”.
There are times I spend alone, mostly at night racking my brain about this disease reflecting on how it has affected my life and the toll it has taken on me mentally because it does leave me feeling so alone. Yet this disease does not affect only me and that is why I can testify that all of us are having sleepless nights that result in worn out and exhausted days. Our minds are racing with thoughts of this disease and how nice it would be if there were ways we could reach out and share some of what’s on our minds. Even when we are worried and confused our thoughts are working overtime, we remain quiet. Who is there to talk too, who is willing to listen!
Why is it so hard to talk others about Rheumatoid Arthritis! Is it because it appears to be a straightforward illness and our concerns seems blown out of proportion and they simply don’t grasp how debilitating it can be. What they don’t see is the sadness and loneliness in our eyes and the pain in our hearts as we’re struggling to figure out our path along the way. All we need are caring people to support us on this path. We want someone who we can tell we’re not okay without facing judgement.
Being sick and lonely can be devastating. You have nowhere to turn and no one to turn too. Each time you think about reaching out, you remember this fight maybe yours alone. Having RA tends to chase away those you thought were there for the long haul. People can’t seem to get used to the ups and downs of having this disease and how much control it has over your life. Trying to explain it falls on deaf ears after a few times. There maybe sympathy at first but along the way when things gets tough, understanding and comfort seems to fade. As we try to explain the different phases of our disease and what we’re going through the interest is loss. Simply because this disease is complicated and chronic with many different facets. Because of this, we soon learn we are in this fight alone with few to lean on.
In a world filled with pain and uncertainty, it is a tragedy to be alone when all you may need is a gentle hug, an understanding smile or most importantly someone who will hear what this disease is doing to your life. So my hope is we find that comfort in those in our lives because living with Rheumatoid Arthritis is a burden to heavy to bear alone.