I have Rheumatoid Arthritis. It’s not my fault, so why do I feel to blame. Why do I feel bad for being sick. Are you blaming me too! Rheumatoid Arthritis is to blame. Did it chase you away or do you blame me.
I know this sounds really sad but there are many with chronic diseases that have lost loved ones because they have been sick for what some feel “too long or too often”. No, it’s not our fault but we have to suffer the consequences. It’s a sad day when you’re blamed for the times you’re either too sick or just too tired to get out of bed to do anything and sometimes the sad fact that you’re blaming yourself for this. As much as you try, you just can’t bring yourself to put your feet on the floor to make that first move.
As much as you try sometimes to do the best that you can, it may not be enough to keep those in your life happy and at home or in your life. The burden for them gets to be too much to bear though they’re not understanding your burden is with you 24 hours a day. They don’t understand that no matter what you have to live a life of pain, fatigue, medication, lack of help, criticism and loneliness. Their burden doesn’t compare in no way to yours yet they can walk away but you can’t.
Walking away for them maybe the easy way out. They don’t have to face your day to day battles. They don’t have to see you suffer. There are some that just get tired of dealing with the life of a sick person. They don’t want to deal with having a person around who they feel will not be 100% or at least 80% of who they use to be. They don’t want the responsibility of having someone they feel they have to help fix. There are those that just don’t believe any of this is really real. Whatever the reason, they just walk away.
Leaving hits home for many. Not just those in your home. It is those that you thought you could count on like your friends, your close co-workers and others. They turn away because they get those feelings that most get after a while. Is this all real. Are they really sick. Can they really be that sick. Oh no, not again. I’m so tired of them being sick. Just some of what we go through having a chronic disease. But this is our reality, this is truly what we face.
In the end, it is not our fault we are sick. We have been dealt the blow of having a chronic disease which makes our lives chronic in many ways but we are not chronic. If someone walks away from us, it ultimately for our best. We will make it.