Being sick with Rheumatoid Arthritis, our ultimate goal is to feel the best that we can. Depending on our Rheumatologist and other doctors is an important part of our care but what happens when things just don’t seem to be working out with your doctor. Do you find yourself struggling with whether to find new one or do you stick it out for reasons that you also struggle with. This dilemma can only add additional stress to our already stressful life.
We’ve all at some point probably been in the situation where we’ve had a doctor that we just didn’t quite get along with or felt the doctor didn’t understand us or even seem to care about us or was really concerned about our well being. I know this may seem harsh but I have had the experience where a doctor actually spoke to me as if I were a child and made me feel like I was pretending and even held me responsible for feeling the way that I was feeling. Even more he turned and spoke directly to my husband about me instead of to me and I will tell you that was my last visit with him. But that was an easy transition because that was degrading to me as a person, human and a woman and I made the decision it was time for me to move on. But in some cases things are that blatant and are done in more subtle ways which can make you question your decision.
As sufferers of Rheumatoid Arthritis, it is imperative that we see our doctor on a regular basis for care but what happens when that relationship fails. What happens when you’ve put your trust in someone for many years and that relationship slowly start to fail but you’re second guessing yourself thinking maybe you’re making too much out of a situation and keep going back. I know, I’m guilty. I even asked the questioned myself as to what I should do. It’s hard I must say when you’ve invested years in someone who has been the best and you’ve had no problems but slowly things starts to change. You wonder is it me or is it the doctor. You start to feel like you feel with everyone else “am I complaining, is my medicine not working, should I just try this medicine just a little bit longer so I won’t upset things, should I just wait until next time”. These are some of things I began to feel. Also, I began to question, “Do I really have RA”. So now I know the relationships is slowly but surely changing from what it once was. Now I know, it’s time for change because truly, this is a shame that I feel this way.
As I began to feel I was becoming a burden to the doctor, I knew things were bad. The checkups were short and sweet so to speak, the how are you weren’t as sincere as I remembered, then it was out the door. I still hung in there but the reality hit me hard when things turned where I felt I had lost control. I realized I had to do all of the work. Yes it’s true, we are our own best advocate and I stand by that but we are NOT suppose to do what the doctor is suppose to do. If you are promised something, that promise should be kept. When you began to feel forgotten, you are forgotten. I realized I had to give up on the past and make a new future with someone new. I accepted the past is the past and living in the past wasn’t going to keep me well. I found someone new to give a try and it wasn’t bad at all. I wasn’t afraid to leave I just didn’t want to start new because of the relationship I’d had with this doctor for many years but end the end that relationship had to end for my best interest.
With my new doctor I have already started a new medication without many side effects and in process I found out some other new things about my RA. So I guess this was the best move for me. I will tell each of you, if your relationship with your doctor isn’t working, please get a second opinion if you are allowed to. You are your own best advocate. Don’t let a past relationship keep you going back. It is like being in any unhealthy relationship with anyone. Take care of yourself and your health because you are all that you have. Don’t stay because you feel it’s what you know. Thank you for stopping by and I hope I have found something positive in my post.
photo credit: pixabay
July 14, 2020 at 7:09 pm
I’m about to switch to a new rheumatologist and your post comes as an encouragement. Thank you!
July 14, 2020 at 7:54 pm
Wishing you the best. You have to do what’s best for yourself. God Bless you.