So you have Rheumatoid Arthritis and your life has changed forever and so has everyone around you. Their feelings for you have changed, the way they look at you has changed and the way they treat you has changed. Most of these changes haven’t been for the best and you’re wondering what have you done wrong. All that you’ve done is gotten a disease that you didn’t ask for. You are not responsible for the changes that are made in your life, Rheumatoid Arthritis is. What they don’t seem to understand, “you’re not your disease”, you have a disease. No one sets out to become ill with a chronic disease that will change them forever but it has happened and you’re suffering the consequences in ways you never knew possible.
No I am not my disease though it has taken over so much of me and my life. I have a disease that has changed who I am and what I am capable of doing but deep inside I am the same person I was before I became ill, yes ill. It is true I may not be able to do some of the things that I once could but I always give it a try even if the results cause me pain. There are times I end up in tears from over doing it for that matter. Do people honestly think that is okay with me. Do they think that it doesn’t bother me and I don’t cry and be sad because of this. They forget I have chronic disease that is making me sick and changing who I am. While many of them are walking away or forgetting that I have this disease I can’t because I live with it each and every day as I’m reminded by the pain, the limitations and all of the brutal things it brings along. This is what it’s like to have a chronic disease, never forgetting how much life will be forever different for you and that is for each and every sufferer of any chronic illness.
While you try hard to be normal it will never normal as you knew it. Simple things will never be simple again and simplicity will just be a word in your vocabulary. What didn’t hurt before amazes you now because you look at yourself and wonder how in the world can something that easy cause so much pain. Can you believe something as simple as holding your toothbrush, combing your hair, putting on clothes be so hard, the very things many take for granted. I wake up hurting from the bottom of my feet to my neck and it may take hours just to feel better if I’m lucky. Yes the bottom of my feet. I bet normal people never thought about that happening without an injury but it’s true for those of us with RA. It can be an everyday occurrence for us. Things like this that are never in the minds of those that don’t know what it is like with RA. I am not my disease but I am suffering from a chronic disease, one that changes me day to day. If this could be remembered, things could be made better for us emotionally.
Though I have changed because my life has changed, in my soul I am still the person that I always was before getting Rheumatoid Arthritis. I suffer from so many of the affects that comes with it but I still try my best to be the best. I am never going to be the person that I was physically and I won’t pretend that I am and yes I know there are many emotional days because of this but know these things are driven because of one thing, Rheumatoid Arthritis. Just remember, these are my circumstances, not me. We are not our disease just a symptom of our disease!!
This is for all of us Warriors. Thanks for reading my blog.