Finally being diagnosed was a very painful reality but I had no idea what it all meant really. I had no clue what Rheumatoid Arthritis was and like so many thought is was arthritis at first. Silly me, was I in for a learning experience. The doctor did his best to explain it but that didn’t go very well because there’s too much to know and I actually had to feel my way through things for myself. My doctor is a good doctor, I’m still with him today so he’s been there through the long hall.
I had to read more than I knew possible trying to figure this crazy disease out which confused me more than ever and I still haven’t gotten it all yet. You see RA always has something new for you because it’s quite tricky actually. You never know what it has in store for you at any given time. The only thing you can do is start with what they believe is the best known medication, metrotrexate which didn’t work very well for me at that time. The pill form was bad for my stomach and the injection form almost killed me. Thus began my journey down the long path of multiple medications.
Finding out you have Rheumatoid Arthritis is foreign to you because nothing makes sense in the beginning and no matter how long you have had it, it hardly gets any better. You do learn your symptoms and some of the effects but you’re bogged down with effects from your medications which add to your issues and the confusion. Little did you know when this disease struck, your life would be changed forever. Your life would become a day of pain, medication, fatigue and frustration along with changes that would be out of your control and that my fellow warriors never changes. Those things take a mental toll on you, weighing heavier than a ton of bricks. A toll many will and have failed to see.
I started off with many different emotions from crying many days and nights to total disbelief to feeling sorry for myself and wondering what did I do to deserve this. I still go through a myriad of emotions because this disease does not get better. You’re lucky if you can manage it because managing is a struggle and that has been an unwavering process. One that started in 2011 and is still ongoing today. From new medication to I’m not sure what’s next for you. That can be devastating and scary.
Though finally being diagnosed was a relief, it was also a nightmare. It opened up a world of uncertainty for me and changes that lives with me today and are still ongoing. I am no longer who I once was and I will never be again but it is worth it knowing the truth. Knowing the truth has offered different solution though difficult but solutions just the same. So what now! Learning to live life with Rheumatoid Arthritis as best I can with what and who I can.
Thank you for reading my blog. May it find you doing well. I know I speak for many of you and I am so proud to be your voice.