When I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis, I didn’t know my life would change the way that it has, still there was so much more about this disease that I just did not know.  Each day that I suffer, I learn just a little bit more but never learning all that there is to know about a disease that needs more light shown on it in order to make better progress for those of us who has to live this life.

I didn’t know by having this disease my life would be turned upside down so fast

I didn’t know pain could be as bad as it is with a disease that can be unseen

I didn’t know I would watch that pain make me struggle just to take a few steps, wring my hands or even bend my knees

I didn’t know there was this thing called fatigue that would plague me no matter what I did to fight it

I didn’t know there would be days I would cry for relief from that fatigue and the sleep I need to help me along my days

I didn’t know that slowly my abilities would slip away one by one

I didn’t know  how hard it would be adjusting to losing those abilities that I was able to do for so long

I didn’t know with Rheumatoid Arthritis came a barrage of different medications

I didn’t know how hard it would be finding the one that would work best for me or how hard it would be adjusting to them

I didn’t know what is working for me would also make me sick, confused and afraid

I didn’t know I would experience things that made me afraid for myself

I didn’t know I would have to learn to cope with the confusion in my head

I didn’t know all of this would become a part of my normal

I didn’t know learning to cope with it all would take every ounce of strength that I have

I didn’t know this disease would tear at the very fiber of what family means

I didn’t know I would almost lose myself while seeking the support and understanding that would help me to keep going

I didn’t know I would lay my head down wishing to look up into eyes of comfort

Above all, I didn’t know with all that I suffer, many would still walk away from me believing I am not as sick as I am.

What I do know about Rheumatoid Arthritis, it is debilitating, disabling and so misunderstood.  So as I continue my journey, I will pray that comfort will come to me and all that suffer from what has become our life altering way.

From All of Us!!

Be Blessed

photo credit:  alexasfotos/