Suffering is such a strong word. Suffering-describes undergoing pain, distress or hardship. Do You See Yourself In These Words!
Pain is such a strong presence. Pain-physical suffering or discomfort caused by illness. I Know You See Yourself In These Words!
Now putting those words together in our world we can surely come up with our disease, Rheumatoid Arthritis and by its diagnosis you will find each of our names. Names of those of us who wear these words so boldly, those of us who show everyday exactly how this disease works and those of us who explain its definition without having to say a word. Some of us have the visible signs but all of us have that all important thing in common, PAIN, PAIN AND MORE PAIN.
How do we deal with our pain and suffering? There is no simple answer to that question but it is something we struggle with each and everyday, trying hard to learn how to cope in the worst of situations. These though are our toughest Hardships and dealing with the pain always brings on our suffering. We have so much going on in our lives from dealing with our pain, we have been forced to learn how to live with and through it no matter how tough it gets or how tired and fatigued we get. Yet we tend to push ourselves so hard trying to make the best of this fight that we’re embarking on with Rheumatoid Arthritis that we forget we must rest ourselves . We must step back and see that while fighting to be strong, we need to take care of ourselves both physically and mentally and not over do what we are fighting so hard to fix, getting just a little pain-free time. We know that it is up to us to take control of what we can because No One Else will be as faithful to us in this fight as we have to be to ourselves.
It’s unfortunate that we find ourselves pushing through doing what is almost impossible because we feel guilt for our inability to perform the way we use to. Our bodies have changed and pain is a huge part of what has made those changes and taken away our abilities. Along with the guilt comes our push to succeed but there are those times when succeeding is not possible. So dealing with the many effects associated with Rheumatoid Arthritis is what suffering is about. Be it our physical pain which is unrelenting or our emotional pain which is just as devastating but also the host of other things that comes with this disease. Not a cry for a pity but a voice of reality. It is so hard not being able to do the things we once could but even harder facing that reality. Knowing that something so simple has now become an impossibility is a weight too hard to carry sometimes. Things that many take for granted or things that we once took for granted has now been replaced by our pain.
We know that our lives have changed, the old us is just that, the old us. We now have to embrace our new selves whether beaten, broken or somewhere in between. We will never be what we once were and this road we’re on now is not very giving, so as we travel it, we have to take it slowly in order to maintain our sense of self and not get lost in our fight to be what others expect us be and to do. As much as we feel the need to be the old us, we cannot push ourselves too hard trying to accomplish this because if we fight too much we may end up hurting ourselves more. This is the way the fight is with this disease, it has no set pattern to follow and this is why it can only be explained by what we feel as a sufferer who goes through the effects of this disease continuously. To do too much is to hurt ourselves, to do not enough means you are already hurting too much. We are chronic sufferers of pain that bounds us to suffering so it is a vicious cycle that we are forced to go through. So where does it hurt has its own special meaning to us. Our pain is not our imagination, it is real and it can be debilitating. Though we may be up and moving, it is through pain we are slowly making those movements and it is with tremendous efforts that we continue through our days.
To have pain is to suffer and to suffer is to have pain and this is our daily journey. This is what we have to endure and this won’t change but we will give this journey our best go. The grimace on our face that signifies our pain is also our sign of bravery. It is the badge that we wear even if no one notices but us.
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