Are those sleepless nights that you find yourself battling becoming more and more the norm for you? Do you find yourself tossing and turning fighting for sleep while fighting pain!!
No one can really understand what it’s like to be awakened by pain and then have the misfortune of trying to catch up on the sleep you just lost. Still there are those of us who never get to sleep at all because of the pain so we have the longest hours to fight watching the clock slowly tick away as you turn to check the time to see it’s only been 5 minutes since you last checked. You lay there in bed willing your pain to stop while trying to will yourself to sleep but neither work. The night for us never seems to end and neither does our pain.
We lie in bed feeling the pain from each joint that hurt and then we may end up preoccupying our minds by counting these joint to see just how many does hurt, trying anything to make the time go hoping to dull our minds into sleep. That does not work because we then realize just how much we are hurting and this is the reason we can’t sleep. Some of us may have taken medication before going to bed for the pain and some may have gotten up to take medication hoping it will help us through the night but one thing is for sure, Rheumatoid Arthritis has a way of working right through our medication. Nothing at times can bring us relief. As we lay there fatigued and exhausted, sleep still does not come. We are hurting when we move but we still try hoping to find that comfortable position that has the possibility of allowing us just a little rest. Nothing is working so our night drags on and our pain doesn’t stop. We lay there doing things from talking to ourselves, crying and praying all in an attempt to get some much needed peace and rest.
This is what RA does to us as it works on our bodies and minds. Our emotions are high because we need sleep and we want the pain to end so we feel like we’re spinning out of control. Yet after nights like these there are those who have to face their days as if everything went well through the night. Some of us have to go to work, some have to take care of their children/families and go to work and some have other things they must do all the while being exhausted both physically and mentally because sleep did not come and your pain still lingers. How can anyone possibly cope like this, still we’re expected too. These are things most don’t know we experience.
Many may wonder “If You’re Tired” why can’t you sleep! Simply, if your pain is so bad, it doesn’t matter how tired you, sleep won’t come, it’s how bad you’re hurting at that point. Don’t you have pain medicine they may ask, yes we do but the pain from Rheumatoid Arthritis is a pain like no other. It lingers, it pulls, it jabs, it’s striking, it’s breath-taking, it’s nauseating and even more it can literally drop you to your knees. This is no exaggeration because we feel it, we know.
To be tired and worn out and have to carry on no matter what is hard but to realize that your nights ahead can be the same as before can truly wear you down. It’s no wonder we are emotionally drained as well as physically drained. Try as we may to work through this, it can be very hard for us. Our lives are off track, we are no longer able to be the person we once were and to do what we once did for ourselves and others. This is a hard adjustment for us. This is the reality of having this dreadful disease.
So our lives are filled with uncertainties, pain, fatigue and guilt, still we’re trying through all of this to do the best we can but it is not easy. We are in no way lazy or complainers we are just pain ridden, tired and emotional Rheumatoid Arthritis sufferers. Through no fault of our own has this happened to us. How would you feel if you had to deal constantly with pain, fatigue and getting no sleep but still expected to carry on. Think about that, how would you feel.
We are sufferers who deal with so much and are still expected to do so much. While we are fighters, we are also realistic about this disease and sometimes no matter what, we are limited to what we can do. At times no matter how strong we are, we are still at our weakest. Rheumatoid Arthritis, a very painful, chronic auto immune disease that has struck us and changed our lives. Love, support and understanding is what we need to make it through the day, the night and always. Can we just close our eyes for a while!!
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