Rheumatoid Arthritis, our enemy who spews many cruel and unwanted symptoms at us each and everyday leaving behind one of its worst, Pain. Pain that lingers causing our lives to change in ways people may never, ever truly understand.
We struggle, we medicate, we cry, we hope, we pray and then more but the pain of this disease seem never to give us a break. What more can we do to fight a fighter that has a stronger weapon than we may ever have. It wreck havoc on our immune systems causing pain from our head to our feet while blindly tearing at some of our insides. So pain, you are our most constant companion. When everything else may subside, you stick around making our lives miserable while making sure that we never forget for one moment you are a part of us and that is why we hate what you do and “We Hate You”. As we wake each day you remind us of your presence always making sure we know you are in charge. Yet We Wonder:
Why Do you, Hurt us so bad when we don’t deserve this agony
Why Do You, Make us cry even when all of our tears are gone
Why Do You, Take our joy and leave us in such a sad state
Why Do You, Lead us to depression as we wonder will our minds ever be at ease
Why Do You, Bring with you your companion, Fatigue and leave it with us just as long
Why Do You, Slowly eat away at our well being, leaving us unable to stop you
Why Do You, Stand so firmly never allowing us a break
Why Do You, Fight back so fiercely against our methods to get rid of you
Why Do You, Stay with us when all we want is relief and just to be left Alone;
What we know, Rheumatoid Arthritis and its pain does not discriminate because it hurts each and everyone of us and it can attack anyone at anytime. We are all suffering from moderate to severe pain or so it says but to each of us the pain has a mind of its own. What we can say is that it is debilitating, it is long lasting and it is unpredictable. It is devastating to constantly be in pain letting it dictate our every moment and every move.
It’s funny though, I sometimes find myself talking to my pain as if I’m negotiating with it about its next move (sounds crazy and little silly). Really this should indicate the hold and control pain can have on us. No one understands how it is to have your body feeling pains that you cannot began to describe. It takes over you while you sit and consciously count the places that hurt if not your whole body. This is the effect of this vicious disease, Rheumatoid Arthritis.
How do we survive it? How do we withstand it? It penetrates our bodies and minds leaving us weak and worn. This is where our struggles get lost and this is what many fail to understand about our disease. It is not a petty disease, it is a criminal disease but we are the ones being punished for having it. For us to endure its pain and withstand it as we do is what makes us sufferers of Outstanding Strength. If we weren’t the fighters that we are, many of us would have given up long ago. Yes it gets tough and hard, it gets lonely and isolating along with overwhelming but we hang on the way we know we have to. This is our unbroken strength.
So my thoughts to anyone who fail to accept that our disease Rheumatoid Arthritis/Disease is one that changes our lives, takes over our lives, leaves us without hope, takes from us more than can be seen, brings physical pain daily, mental pain often and makes you, you and you leave or turn away, then you will never be a believer no matter what we say or what we do. You will never be convinced that this disease is as crippling physically and mentally as it truly is and as we have always said that it is. It is the driver and leader of our days deciding what or how we partake in any of them.
Our final thoughts, we would like to say once again, Rheumatoid Arthritis, We Hate You and The Pain You Constantly Bring Into Our Lives. You will never be Forgiven!
OUR RANT AGAINST THIS DISEASE AND IT’S PAIN. FROM ALL OF THE STRONG RA WARRIORS WHO BEARS INVISIBLE AND VISIBLE SCARS BUT SURELY ITS PAIN.
photo credit: bykst/pixabay.com
April 18, 2016 at 4:10 pm
Had me crying half way through–I hate this disease so much. I hate the ups and downs of it. I also hate having to come up with a positive spin on it so I don’t go nuts. Seriously, though, I do wonder if it’s just my penance for past sins. When I think about that, it makes me reach a certain acceptance that it is my cross to bear and I have to buck up and make the best of it. Just wish everyone knew how hard it was. I’m thankful for other RA friends who know what it’s like living with this. Thanks for putting into words what I feel sometimes. Take care. Dawn
April 18, 2016 at 4:54 pm
First let me say I truly understand. I don’t think it’s for past sins we are just the unfortunate ones to have it. I’m sure there is nothing that you’ve done worthy of this. Don’t be so hard on yourself. I can tell you are a lovely person. We do just have this burden to bear and yes understanding is hard to come by. I wish you the best always. Message me anytime you need an ear. Blessings.
April 19, 2016 at 12:46 am
I don’t know why that made me so emotional! It is a beautiful post, and it just resonates so true. Thank you so much!
April 19, 2016 at 12:52 am