The Truth Is, we have Rheumatoid Arthritis an auto immune disease
The truth is, it affects our entire body with pain that can’t be measured
The truth is, it is not a simple disease or a sometime disease
The truth is, it makes us hurt each and every day with unrelenting pain
The truth is, taking medication to fight this chronic disease isn’t an option
The truth is, finding the right one that works is a long worrisome process
The truth is, those medicines have side effects but don’t affect any one person the same;

But, Did You Know, by taking these medicines we will most likely change in some form or fashion
Did you know, those changes can be physical and/or emotional
Did you know, for those changes, the chances are very high there will be more medicines to take just for those changes
Did you know, contrary to what you thought,we are sure to still suffer with pain while taking medication;

But What I Want To Say To You, No, I am not weak, nor am I a whiner and neither am I a complainer
What I want to say, all that I know about Rheumatoid Arthritis is real because I live it daily
What I want to say, sometimes I hide from you and don’t talk for fear of sounding as if I’m repeating myself
What I want to say, I don’t think you are really listening to what I’m explaining to you
What I want to say, isolation is what I face more than I feel I should
What I want to say, I don’t feel I’m given a fair chance with this disease
What I want to say, I’m made to feel having this disease is my fault
What I want to say, I’m racked with guilt because of this disease;

It is true that we struggle so much with this disease each and every day and many don’t know how much we do.  They do not understand what this disease is really all about and how important support is to us and without it we face isolation and loneliness.  So why is it fighting this disease and those that don’t understand makes this whole thing the hardest thing that we have to deal with.  We are missing so much of our lives and know there is no chance of getting it back even with the best medication because of the limitations that we face.

The fear of over doing is a real one.  We want to do more but is so afraid to, these are some of the limitations.  What kind of life is that?  How can anyone be at peace with that.  This is exactly what we face, sacrificing one in order to gain the other.  It sounds like a game but it is not.  We are worn out the majority of the time but when we are allowed by this disease to have a moment of pure peace, we pause.  We rush or attempt to fill our time with all that’s been neglected but pay the price because our bodices give in to all that it has been put through and there we are once again back to what we are so familiar with.

This life is a life that none can understand unless you have stood in our shoes in an attempt to walk our long unforgiving path.  You will not really know what we endure no matter how we  cry out but by trying your best to take in our cries will at least be a start.  Our pain is real and it is constant and this is something that may seem foreign to someone who has not known what chronic means and feels like.  Without this, the true meaning gets lost so much of the time.  This is where we have tried and tried to bridge the gap with understanding but that gap has not closed very much so we have come to the realization that we must let go of a fight that maybe fruitless and concentrate on one that has the name Rheumatoid Arthritis.

So for those that don’t and won’t understand, accept our smile with “we just don’t have time anymore” as we move on to take care of ourselves.  The time is done for us working overtime trying over and over again to explain what we go through.  What is known and should be accepted is what we endure is real and it is always.  Now as we go forward, it is with hope that those we love not turn their backs on us but come with us on this journey.  We have no extra strength to carry anyone but ourselves, so we cannot reach back to carry someone who does not want to come along.

Be Blessed

Photo credit: glady/