Rheumatoid Arthritis is our Chronic Disease, one we can’t run from or hide from. So we quietly cry to ourselves and realize our days with it is unknown to us and our lives with it is unknown to all. How do we began our days living in the shadows of a disease that runs through the course of each joint that we have?
Living with Rheumatoid Arthritis is and will always be a disease that we can’t figure out. Yes, we know without a doubt what it does to us but we are forever learning there can always be more. As we work hard at trying to convince others to respect this disease and us for being the recipients of its devastation, we are still grasping the fact that there are always new factors in our fight with it. We are forever working for that all time understanding of something that has brought us down and continue to add more and more for us to deal with. We, by no means are weak but when you are faced with something that has no set rules, you are never prepared for what may come next.
As we struggle to go along in life living with this disease, we are never far from wishing things were more balanced and there was a set pattern for us to follow. By being unpredictable, it leaves us at its mercy knowing only what will happen when it actually does. This keeps us emotional and wanting more of a stable life while knowing this disease has robbed us of our stability. It is what we know as a chronic disease but it is more of a Selfish disease. One that causes so much pain, frustration, separation and longing but never offering anything that puts a smile on our face as it takes away all that is good from us.
We have lived and will live with this disease and we know there will never be a way around it but as we walk each day along our journey what do we think to ourselves! How much more can you give me; How much more can I endure; How much more can you take from me; How much more unpredictable can you be; Yes all of those things we may think and more but as we struggle along and fight our fight, we are not giving in even though it gets so tough we wonder how do we do it. Does this sound like a Cry For Pity! It is not. These are my thoughts for today, my thoughts for all of us and how much we really hate these 2 words: Rheumatoid Arthritis.
No we aren’t saying we are worse off than anyone else who is sick but we are stating this from our own personal battles. We know that anyone with any chronic or temporary bad illness suffers and we as Sufferers RESPECT that. Still, we cry our cry because it is what helps us to lightening our load emotionally. It is our cry not for sympathy or pity but our cry from the debts of our bones to let others know this is our biggest fight and it is a hard one. It is not just to say casually I have a chronic disease and I may get sick from time to time, it is to say I am always sick but some days are better than others. Yes, we may smile when we are hurting and others may never know, so there is no selfishness in our words because there are many, many times our pain is Unspoken.
As we live with and while we live with Rheumatoid Arthritis, we only want understanding where this is none, support when we need some and this Disease to be known exactly for what it is Chronic, an AUTO IMMUNE DISEASE, Devastating and Not just something you can quietly medicate away. For us, others understanding is a long way in our battle. So when you hear us say: I hurt today, it is real; I don’t feel well, it’s true; Something isn’t right, then it isn’t; I’m just too tired, we are fatigued; I’m an emotional wreck, then I am; Why can’t you understand, why don’t you; My medicine is making me sick, it is. These are our truths and these are our normal days, so to think anything less only adds to what this disease does. We are fighting our battles no matter what picture you see on our face or what our bodies reflect. It is always a fight and one that we struggle to keep up with.
So you see this disease owns more of us than many realize. Rheumatoid Arthritis, if you were to get it, do you think your life would be different? It wouldn’t be because it treats us all the same. The only difference, if you were Blessed enough to not have it aggressively. It is a disease for any and everyone, be HAPPY you are not one of us.
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