RA AND THE FAMILY FIT

Rheumatoid Arthritis is our Chronic Disease, one we can’t run from or hide from.  So we quietly cry to ourselves and realize our days with it is unknown to us and our lives with it is unknown to all. How do we began our days living in the shadows of a disease that runs through the course of each joint that we have? Continue reading “RA -Rheumatoid Arthritis – Living Our Lives” →

Having Rheumatoid Arthritis is a terrible and painful thing. So many don’t understand it, so many think so little of it, so many misinterpret it and so many wouldn’t be able to handle it.  This is not at all unusual in our lives.  If you had to walk a day in our shoes, could you brave the path and make it.

Our walk each day is a hard one.  We struggle with pain, depression, anxiety, loneliness and uncertainty with each breathe that we take.  Though it is true we all may not experience these at all times but there is a guarantee that the majority of these things are hanging with us.  We know for sure there is something with us each day that we would love to leave along the way, something we can look back at and be thankful that it’s gone.

Pain is our driving force.  It drives us to the point of not being able to move beyond our surroundings.  We wish to walk in a way that gives our lives a light of hope but it drags us down and that dark cloud of unhappiness hovers over us.  We hope for nothing more than to live a pain-free life for ourselves, our love ones and those things in life we wish to do.  But pain, yes our pain, it is relenting and it leaves nothing for us to wonder about.  What it does and what it offers is no mystery to us except for occasional surprises.

So my question to those who fail to understand “If you had to walk a day in our shoes, could you handle it”.  Could you take on this task, could you walk with the pain that soars through your body day in and day out;  Will you be able to handle it when that small ache in your hand or feet becomes that searing pain that puts you down;  What about the day you may see your swollen joints and you are scared and confused because you don’t know what to do;  Did I mention for all of these symptoms the many medications you will have to try in hopes of getting the right one, all the while they’re making you sick.  Can you handle that tall order. So maybe your meds might be working okay for your pain but you’re still getting sick from them and that you just can’t understand.  But that’s exactly what we endure.  Are you taking it all in! Are you beginning to understand our fight yet!

Did I mention you will have flares.  Flares are known as acute episodes of pain and inflammation.  So we are subject to those at any time, they’re never ending too.  By the way, they can cause severe pain and swelling and they can put you down and out.  Of course you will need additional medication for those.  Now do you see how difficult our lives are with Rheumatoid Arthritis, this disease that walked into our lives and is leading our way.  So again, my question to those of you who don’t or won’t understand our plight, “If you had to walk a day in our shoes,  could you handle it”.  Will you try to learn all that you can about RA;  Will any of this change how you feel about what we go through and about how much we suffer with it;  Will you understand what it’s really like and how much our lives don’t belong to us.

Well, can you pick up your shoes, walk like us and feel what we feel.  Understand what we are going through, know what we know about this dreadful disease.  And if you could do this, you will surely get the lesson of a lifetime.  A lifetime filled with pain and the many uncertainties of Rheumatoid Arthritis, the disease that does not discriminate.  Can you stand the walk and if you can, will this make you see just how hard our struggles are and will you listen when we talk of all that we have done and still have to do.  Will you?

So as it stands, I know walking in our shoes is an impossibility but getting this disease is not.  Remember as I said, Rheumatoid Arthritis does not discriminate, so I hope those of you who don’t or won’t understand will not be the next ones having someone reading these words trying to get understanding and support for yourselves.  “True” understanding of our disease is an automatic giver of Support plus Understanding.  Another truth is, You really wouldn’t want to walk a minute in our shoes let alone a day, so please take a look, a listen and understand!

Be Blessed

photo credit:  ccodomain/pixabay.com

When we Speak, are you Listening. When we Cry, can you Hear us.  When we Reach, can we Find you.  When we Hurt, can you See it.

Are you feeling breathless because you feel you have been running for days, months or years at a time but just not going anywhere.  Trying to leave something behind but it just won’t let you go.  That something is Rheumatoid Arthritis, our disease, our most faithful companion.

Are you tired of feeling tired and you just want to find a place where you can rest your head, your heart and your aching body.  But even when you do that, you just can’t leave behind that one thing that’s making your life miserable.  It just won’t let you get the peace that you want so bad and so need.  You’re running on empty with nothing but pain filling you up and that is a heavy load to keep pulling.

Yes we are tired, broken and wanting to be fixed but can’t seem to find any of what we need.  We’re wishing for support and understanding or someone just to listen as we reach our breaking point or our point of epic pain and need to reach out for comfort from those we love or those we feel should be there for us.  Getting that shouldn’t be as difficult as it’s turned out to be.  Why is that?  Are we asking too much or are we seeking too much.  We are not ones to put our burdens on others intentionally and most of us if not all of us would never lay our burdens at others feet if we could carry them alone.  Only do we ask for support when we need it and crave it.  Our lives are as tough as it gets and we just want a little bit of help along the way.

Can this journey be lightened? That is what we want to see.  Why is it that we have to deal with Rheumatoid Arthritis and its many evils.  Dealing with feeling alone, dealing with being alone and dealing with trying our best not to be alone.  Not all of us are alone but each of us at some point has felt it though it might not have been intentional.  We’re busy trying to protect those we love and those in our lives all the while trying desperately to gain some of what we need as we sacrifice ourselves in some ways.  We deal with guilt as we fall short in many, many ways and we subconsciously punish ourselves for being so.  We want so much to be and do all that we once did but we can’t and will never be able to again. This, we feel somehow is our fault but this disease has caused us to lose so much. It has taken away who we are, what we were and changed who we are going to be.  It has also caused us to lose some of our family and friends and that is just the beginning.

Do we want this all to be better!  Yes we do.  If we could turn back the clock and change things with this disease we would but this is not our call so we must endure.  We must bear all that it brings no matter how tough it gets.  What would make this time better for us and do what the medicines can’t do, just some simple love, understanding and support.  This may not take away our debilitating pain but it will surely help us through it.  We want what is not suppose to be hard to get.  The things that should be easy and natural.  Not something that we have to force from someone or fight to get.  Not a one sided conversation where you only hear your echo when you speak.  Not a love that you have pull from someone.  Not a hug that you have to manipulate to get.  Not a listening ear that let your words go straight through to the other side.  Not “I understand” when you haven’t heard a word I’ve said and definitely not someone who is going to walk away from me when I can’t do what I use to and I don’t look the way I use to.

All we ask is that we are accepted for the things that we can no longer do, (though some of us still struggle to do them), the walk that we may no longer have, that cheerful smile that warmed so many, the hair that we may have lost, our once slender fingers that our rings use to fit on, the pep in our steps that’s now gone, our emotional selves and above all the thing that makes all of this the most difficult, the pains that we can’t run away from.  If this can be accepted and truly understood, think of what a selfless act this would be and how we all would feel in the end.

Be Blessed

photo credit: diamond mack