Being in the throes of Rheumatoid Disease has changed your life in tremendous ways. It has taken away the old you and introduced a new you to everyone who knows and love you. A new you that’s struggling to balance your life in the wake of this disease.
Before your life with rheumatoid arthritis, it wasn’t so complicated with so much of what you could and could not do. Your days with your family were probably pretty normal and the best ever and it went along with hardly a thought in mind except for the simple things in life, what you were having for dinner, weekend plans, vacation plans or normal things that families do. Your outside activities with the children were always a plus and your job was the usual and everything else fell into place. Now that RA has entered your life all of those things bring about thought. You find yourself wondering if you will be able to cook dinner, if you can make it through a day’s work and then there’s the difficult task of taking on outside activities with your children, spouse or any love one. No way can you grip that ball to throw to your son who wants to play catch with his dad. You’re now hurting too bad for any activities and there goes so much joy.
You see that old you is slowly but surely being replaced by the new you. The one with so many limitations, days of not being able to get out of bed, medication making you sick, pain is unbearable but the plain old reality is “you just can’t do the things you use to or want to simply because you can’t”. This my friends bring on your struggle with GUILT. You’re feeling guilty for all of the things that you’ve lost to this disease and the way it has snatched it all right out from under you. Feeling guilty is a sad thing we’re forced to deal with. It’s hard feeling this way especially when every change has been out of our control. You’re/we’re blaming ourselves for this but it’s really not our fault, the guilty one is rheumatoid arthritis. Still, the guilt rocks you because your time spent with your love ones maybe with them taking care of you when you feel that you should be taking care of them.
As hard as this is, we have to try to work this all out within ourselves. We’re constantly hoping and praying for understanding and support from our love ones and those around us as we gradually lose the life we once knew. It is not easy for us while we are going through this terrible transition of losing that life, it is very challenging for us. So as much as we feel guilty, we should try to forgive ourselves. We are not to blame for the changes we have to undertake and endure but a disease that is bold, cruel, relentless and forever lasting and it offers no consolation to us. We are blameless in a battle that we are forced to fight everyday of our lives. Remember guilt has no good intent.
As rheumatoid arthritis/disease sufferers we have done nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to regret and nothing that we should feel sorry about because we were brought into this fight we did not start it.