Having rheumatoid arthritis we all need support and understanding and we will seek it most from those closest to us, our family and friends but mostly family. We need these in order to make what we’re going through less painful both emotionally and physically more bearable as we carry on through our lives.
I’m sure there are times we feel we may be asking too much but there are times when some of our family members and friends might feel overwhelmed with their need to understand and support us. They find themselves questioning what we’re going through and how we are handling it. Some of us have lost a few along the way and this is for sure.
My thought is, there is so much to know and understand about rheumatoid arthritis that the family can’t quite grasp the severity of what it is and what it does to us. We are often thought to be exaggerating, in some instances whining, complaining and/or being lazy. These facts are simply not true. All of the things written about this disease we all go through, some the severity differs. There is no room for making what we experience any worse than it is because it speaks for itself.
So why do we find that so many sufferers ask the same question “Why Don’t My Family and/or Friends Understand What I’m Going Through”. Why? Is it because they too are afraid or they feel helpless because they can’t help with the pain or the changes that they see you going through or maybe because they want to wash away your tear and fears and can’t, or even fix you and can’t. So you see they maybe hiding behind your illness with aloofness, seeming uncaring, being distant, being unhelpful or in some cases downright mean. Is it because they don’t care? I don’t think so. Yes, it’s true there are those rare cases when we find those that truly don’t understand and don’t care either. How do a person deal with that? It’s a challenging thing to have to do and figure out while dealing with your RA struggles. None of this is fair.
My answer to this is not to hide behind the illness, let what you feel or don’t feel come to light. Let what you wish to do or not do be known. If you feel the need to breakdown and cry or be mad at RA or HUG your love one, just do it. Don’t turn off the two things besides your love that is so important, understanding and support. Take the ride with your warrior though it may not be smooth but you all will take the bumps together. Don’t let it be too much to bear or to carry. Togetherness can carry a burden a lot better than one. Bear it together, understand it together and support it together, because if you do then you will stay and Win together. Winning is just knowing that you have someone who is there for you that you can count on.
If you don’t understand this disease, make yourself aware, read and learn. Never hide from what you don’t know. It’s never too late to give that all too important need that we all have as RA warriors. Be together and stand together. Are you willing? Step out from behind that fright and pain. Learn how to bear what you might not think you can. We are depending on you!!
photo credit: cocoparisienne/pixabay.com
September 21, 2015 at 6:16 pm
After 7 years of loving support, things have gotten challenging lately, but I keep telling myself that it is easier with my husband and he is going to be overwhelmed at times. Why wouldn’t he be? Remembering that he is human helps, but I also have to stand up for myself as the synamics of our relationship shift with me not working, not as able, etc.
September 21, 2015 at 6:16 pm
September 21, 2015 at 8:24 pm
Yes I know. It does get challenging even with the best support so just imagine those that aren’t as fortunate. Especially those that truly don’t understand this disease.