For the many, many things we go through with rheumatoid arthritis, there are those times that we have to take for ourselves and evaluate our situation. That includes the depression we all go through which can include our moments when we break down and have ourselves a doggone good cry. This I will call our grieving time.
There we have it, grief. It is known as a feeling of loss and boy do we have a lot of that with this disease. We can’t count the ways with these 10 aching and swollen figures of ours. The loss we suffer isn’t just to our body and mind but for those family and friends who felt this was all too much for them, those who couldn’t live with what we’re going through or those who just didn’t have the patience to ride along with us on this journey. This is our grief and why we have those moments or hours of breaking down.
So we understand how we grieve, now the question is, are being called weak for this or is this considered a weakness to those who don’t understand. I can say there are those that would say yes. There are those that would tell us to suck it up, it’s just pain. Some would say it can’t hurt that bad or what’s the problem “you just look fine to me”. Then maybe we might get the old verbiage “you’re always sick, something’s always wrong”. See, it’s these things that we have to grieve for, these things that put us in a frame of mine of self-preservation. We have to protect ourselves from the hurt from others as well as what our bodies are causing.
You see, in my eyes, grief is a form of healing. It allows you let go of the emotional pain that keeps you down and feeling helpless and loss. To not grieve for yourself is not being fair to yourself. We should not allow anyone make us feel we are weak for remembering and grieving for what we once had or for the things we were once able to do but has lost because of RA. We should be able to get it all out, feel better and work harder for a better tomorrow. Be happy for what we are able to do, not feel sad for what others think we aren’t capable of doing. If grieving open our eyes and heart to a brighter moment, hour or day then it is worth it, if it allows us to put forth our fighting abilities to achieve any time that we can call peaceful whether it is from emotional or physical pain. Let what others may call our weakness be our strength because it is what will sustain us in this unpredictable journey with rheumatoid arthritis. Grieve for yourself, it is your way of laying your burden down so you can pick yourself up and move in a fearless way of strength, that only you can have in order to survive this fight. It is not being weak, it is being courageous and you are that.
My motto: Grieve as much as your heart will allow you too, know that it will lift your spirits and give your strength back to you!!
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