In my day-to-day life my rheumatoid arthritis has not been as bad as RA can be.  I have been Blessed to be a person that was able to get mine diagnosed early which has definitely been beneficial for me. Early detection has enabled me to live my life in a way that I am so grateful for.  For those that have to struggle so much harder day-to-day than I do, I pray for you.

I sit and wonder how did I get this disease.  It is genetic?  I’m not sure.  I haven’t been able to determine that fact.  I do have a sister that has a more progressed form than I do and I know what she has gone through and how much she has suffered to reach the point where this disease has brought her. I look at her and I feel for her.  To know the pain she has suffered and those like her is a part of my struggle.  I hurt emotionally for her and I feel pain physically for myself.

Another part of my struggle is the mental.  I find myself sometimes forgetting that I have RA.  You wonder “how can that be”.  I have those days when I am pain-free so I feel normal and I remember what my life once was.  I remember how it was before I lost my teeth, before I lost my hair and before I could see the difference in my hands and feet, before the pain was a constant in my day.  I find myself just wanting my old self back.  Then I remember, I am so Blessed to be where I am like I am.  To be here with the ones I love in any form is my Hope.

I have to remember that my struggle now isn’t as bad as the struggle can be.  I have to remember that I can be in a position where I don’t feel those normal days.  I have to remember that I am not the only one with this disease, that there are millions of us with this struggle.  I have to remember not forgetting that I have a will to fight is my Victory.

photo credit:  weatherbox/